Spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5 follow.
This episode wasn’t as earth-shattering as the last two. Not surprising. There has been a lot of big movement of late and they really needed to reposition all their little plot elements before they could move them again. So. This episode felt like a whole lot of setup.
So. Let’s check in with people.
Bron - So, Bron saved Jaimie. Quite the little move there if he wants that castle. Mouthing off to Jaimie after, maybe not so much, but I think Jaimie will deal with it well. When you’re as secure in your skill and masculinity as Jaimie is, you can handle a little ribbing.
Sam’s Dad and Brother - Ashes to ashes…
Dany and Jon - Well. It seems Dany likes making eyes at guys who like to pet her dragon. That isn’t a euphemism. The thing is, shouldn’t she be worried that the dragon’s acceptance makes Jon, you know, related to her? But then again, considering her family history, maybe that’s a turn on.
Jorah - Way to show up at the wrong time, dude. Kill joy. Glad to see you’re back, though.
Bran - Do you think Bran is so calm about his urgency to tell Jon he’s related to Dany because Bran’s the Three-Eyed Raven and he just doesn’t feel emotion anymore, or because he’s the Three-Eyed Raven and he already knows whether he gets the news to him before the wedding?
Tyrion and The Onion Knight - It was fun watching them break into King’s Landing to meet up with Jaimie. “Last Time I was here I killed my father with a crossbow.” “Last time I was here you killed my son with wildfire.” Good times.
Jaime and Sis - There’s a baby coming? I heard one person suggest there isn’t a baby and that’s a manipulation ploy, but she seems too comfortable in her power at this point to need to need to resort to such a thing. When has Jaimie shown any hesitation to follow her? Really? But she seems to have shut him down on Tyrion’s white walker plan. Also, her spies are pretty good. So, golf clap for that.
Arya and Sansa - Sansa is still badass as queen. Arya hasn’t started respecting Sansa any more in the time she’s been away. And it looks like Littlefinger is back to his old tricks, giving Arya one of Sansa’s old coercion notes from Season 1. It’s a plot worthy of Richard III. Or Three’s Company.
Gendry? Crap, we’re pulling out the oldies on this one, huh? Neat. We’ll have to see where that one goes. Baratheon’s bastard, risen again.
Sam and Gilly - Did you like the scene where Sam totally fails to get that Gilly is probably reading a book talking about Jon’s birth? And of course, he throws a little fit about not doing important work. So it looks like he’s leaving the Maesters. Seizing his destiny and all that.
I think that’s all the major stuff. A lot of little stuff happened too, and I’m not sure what’s important yet. Good hell, but I was a little exhausted trying to get it all. For all that nothing happened it this episode, there was just so damn much nothing, it was hard to track it all.
The next installment awaits...Slouching Towards Amazon: LTUE Post Mortem