It’s a shame not to share my wisdom and cuteness with as many people as possible.
Mail your questions to email@example.com.
If I’m awake, I’ll read them.
For now, here’s my latest batch of reader comments:
Dear Cat Staff: Your kitty is letting you know that he wants four foods served on four dishes.
That’s a minimum.
Think “Vegas buffet” and you’re on the right track.
Dear human: NEVER get rid of a cat. Buy a second home instead.
Dear kitchen staff: One can never have enough sushi or Fancy Feast. There’s no such thing as “enough to eat.”
Dear Cat: eBay has a policy against selling live animals on their site. I suggest using your local classified ads and letting them outside with “Free Dog” signs taped to their fur.
Dear CFB Fan: It’s a trifecta:
It just happens sometimes, especially in cats.
Dear Sleepyhead: If you had a cat-pleasing Vegas-style buffet in your kitchen 24/7, this would not be a problem.
Dear Tofu Lover: Cats never trust vegetarians.
Dear Cat: All cats go to heaven. They are flawless. God likes cats.
Dear Perky: Why would anyone get out of bed in the morning? This question makes no sense.
Dear Buffet Staff: You’ve seen the flag crew guiding traffic? Same thing. They want to make sure you get it in the correct place.
Dear Chef: You obviously did not put out enough flavors. Think “Vegas buffet.”
Dear Alarm Cat: It depends on how squishy your target is.
Dear Superstitious: It means the kitty is going somewhere.