Mew Year’s Resolutions

January 1 is the traditional time to look ahead and make commitments to some type of lasting change.

As someone wise once said, a New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

As the wisest creature in our household, I have compiled lists of resolutions that will fulfill everyone’s best interests.

Resolutions for the Labradumb:

• Spend more time outdoors.
• Travel more.
• Meet new people and try living in their homes.
• Go away.
• Ask for more rides in the car.
• Practice “play dead” skill more frequently.
• Avoid the cat for long periods of time.
• Take much longer walks.
• Train (outdoors) for a marathon.

Resolutions for Things One and Two:

• Sit more.
• Buy electric blankets for every room in the house.
• Create squishier laps.
• Increase fitness levels by hauling cases of cat food and bales of catnip home.
• Invest in more pillows.
• Eat more chicken and sushi, making sure to practice the ancient meditation/diet ritual of offering your entire meal to your cat.
• Develop feng shui by leaving small crystal bowls of cream and eggnog on the floor.
• Save money by cancelling events outside the house and stay home to pet the kitty.

Resolutions for Me:

Frankly, since I’m perfect, there isn’t anything I would want to change.

In 2012, I do hope to achieve a personal best in the following categories:

• Longest Nap
• Cutest Pose
• Most Fan Mail

Resolutions for All Readers:

• Hug your cat more.
• Send me fan mail.

Wishing you all a dog-free 2012!  Happy New Year!