Many people begin the New Year with a diet and fitness plan.
Most of them succeed until January 9, or until the first good-looking snack appears, which ever comes first.
Here are the top ten reasons why I am not starting a diet now:
1. I don’t need a diet, my fur still fits.
2. If I went on a diet there would be less of me to love.
3. When happiness grows it needs a bigger home. If I lost weight, it would mean I lose happiness.
4. If I went on a diet, my bounce-on-the-squishy-parts alarm clock routine would be less effective.
5. Weight Watcher’s “Points” system has no listings for mice or bugs.
6. I worry that cutting back on cream could lead to osteoporosis.
7. Most of my weight can be attributed to having very dense fur.
8. I haven’t really gained weight, my fur just got bigger.
9. Jenny Craig has no entrees that feature liver or spiders.
10. I believe there is a right-sized cat for every lap. If you think I’m too large, get a bigger lap.
About the Author
Curiosity Quills is a gaggle of literary marauders with a bone to grind and not enough time for revisions.
