Aristocat Supports the 1%Welcome to Catfoodbreath Inc. Infomercials.  We have an amazing opportunity for you tonight!

For a limited time only, we have a fabulous dog for sale.   Technically, this specific dog model we have tonight has not been seen on TV, but has been in front of it many times.  If you know Lassie, you have an exact idea of what our Labradumb® is like.*  This patent-pending Labradumb® model is only available through this limited-time special offer.

You can own this dog NOW for only $39.95 plus shipping and handling.  Operators are standing by.  Only one left!  Act now, before it’s too late!

You might ask, “But why do I need a dog?” 

  • Owning a dog will make you 65% more likely to win the lottery.*
  • This dog will be an investment that will pay for itself in no time.*
  • You will be the envy of your friends.*
  • The Labradumb® model will improve your life or your money back.*

Contact us now and ask about getting a Labradumb® delivered right to your door.  Expedited shipping is available.

We still have one dog left!  Don’t miss out on this opportunity.

Only $39.95 plus shipping and handling.  If you act now, we’ll include 100 Fancy Feast cans FREE!  Operators are standing by.

I know, some of you are saying “But I already have a dog.”

  • It’s good to have a spare dog on hand.
  • Our Labradumb® model is better than any dog you have ever owned.
  • The Labradumb® is smart, loyal, brave, pedigreed, and does magic tricks.*
  • The Labradumb® has won the Presidential Medal of Honor and top honors at the American Kennel Club for eight years in a row.*

Hurry!  If you act right now, we’ll include not just one set of 100 Fancy Feast cans but TWO free sets!!

All cans have been personally tested by our Top Cat.  Call in the next five minutes and pay only $29.99!  This offer will not be repeated.  Operators are standing by.

Here are some unedited* testimonials from people who have met the Labradumb®

“Best dog I ever met.” – Tom the Mailman

“I wish I could clone this dog.  Everyone should have a dog like this.” – Cesar Millan

“One of my Favorite Things.”- Oprah

The Labradumb® and the two sets of Fancy Feast cans can be yours now for only two low payments of $14.99 each.  Operators are standing by.

Only one left!  Act now, before it’s too late!  Cash, check, credit card and catnip accepted.

Don’t wait!

_____________________________________

*cats never lie



About the Author

Cat Food Breath
Cat Food Breath
It's all about me. I am a 17 pound cat with a sushi habit. I’m fabulous …. what more does anyone need to know? As a Siamese, I am talkative, intelligent, extroverted, brave, funny, clever, and good at math. I'm an expert food critic, yoga instructor, relaxation consultant, and fur re-locator, but my full time avocation involves trying to get rid of the dog. I am polydactyl, hence the exceptional keyboard skills, and very literate, having napped on many comfortable books, magazines, and newspapers. I sleep a lot. If you are reading this, you have excellent taste in cats. Read even more at catfoodbreath.com.
More articles by »


0 comments »