To the untrained eye, it looks like I just spend a lot of time sleeping on the couch.
Not so! There’s a lot going on.
Let me give you a detailed look at my real responsibilities:
8 – 9 am: Stretching.
It’s important to warm up before a day on the couch. I try to take up a lot of space, lengthening my body, and limbering up for the rest of my activities.
They’re slow stretches, not naps.
9 – 10 am: Yoga.
It might look like a nap, but it’s really an intense practice of intentional poses designed to help me work on my spiritual insight and tranquility.
10 – 11 am: Meditation.
My body looks still, but my mind is very focused.
11 am – 12 noon: Pre-lunch secret cat stuff.
I can’t go in to much detail, since it’s secret, but I can assure you it’s very important job, even though it might look a bit like a nap.
12 – 1 pm: Post-lunch.
Cats absorb more nutrition from their meals if they hold still and let their digestive system concentrate on doing its thing.
1 – 2 pm: Planking.
This is skill practice. I need to be as flat as possible, and hold the position for extended periods. I’m working my core and overall conditioning. This is not a nap.
2 – 3 pm: Shedding.
Adding a layer of fur to the couch is like applying Scotchgard. You might think I’m napping, but I’m protecting the couch. Why do you think they call it FURniture, anyway?
3 – 4 pm: Sunbathing.
Afternoon rays are good for the fur, and it’s critical to be very quiet for maximum absorption.
4 – 5 pm: Decorative elements.
You know that worn, frayed spot on the couch that has all the cat fur on it? I’m covering it up for you, in case company drops in. I’m doing you a favor.
5 – 6 pm: Pre-dinner secret cat stuff.
See 11 AM.
6 – 7 pm: Dinner digestion.
See 12 PM.
7 – 8 pm: TV.
Even though you think I have my eyes closed, I’m really interested in the programming. This is not a nap.
8- 9 pm: Evening reflection.
What looks like a nap is really a review of the day and preparation of tomorrow’s calendar. There’s serious planning going on here.
9 – 10 pm: Couch cushion duty.
This action, which can seem like a nap, is really designed to flatten the sofa cushions and keep them in place.
10- 11 pm: Wind down.
I use this hour to finish up tasks I didn’t get to during the day, like lying on my left side. This is a reflective hour to prepare for bed time.
11 pm – 12 midnight: Off to bed.
I’m usually exhausted at this point, after a full day with no time for naps.